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LikeTo help you kick start the new year we are offering a 12 month payment scheme on all new orders over a value of £3000 booked this month. With many companies feeling the effects of the downturn in the oil and gas industry, we appreciate that large capital investments may currently be out of the question yet businesses still need to continue marketing themselves, even more so in a tight market. For more info contact Joyce on 01224 574999

January Blues

A little ditty which I’m sure many of us can relate to on the first day back at work. (Courtesy Oscarsmum, English Forum)

January Blues

Twas the month after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled,
the chocolate I’d taste
and the holiday parties
had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber),

I’d remember the marvellous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt…
I said to myself, as I only can,
“You can’t spend a winter, disguised as a man!”

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore…
But isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.